Death Cafe Focuses on What's Important in Life

By Daniel Applegate
President, Arlington Memorial Gardens

There’s a certain cognitive dissonance that surrounds the human relationship to death. Death is the specter that haunts us – because we know all too well how our collective stories end. Yet, even though we know, we are masters of denial.

When we’re confronted with death head-on, when a loved-one dies for instance, we look at death for a moment but we then we look away. We don’t dare look for too long because the full reality is right there to scare the bejibbers out of us, a fear that deeply challenges a flawed human trait: the arrogance that we’re in control. Coming to terms with the mystery of death and its associated fears, or maybe perhaps just providing the venue to discuss this life consuming puzzle, is the goal of the CincinnatiDeath Café.

Held in the welcoming confines of the Arlington Community Room, the CincinnatiDeath Café is not what comes to mind when thinking about a café – although coffee, tea and cookies are mixed in with the conversation. Instead, the Death Café is an occurrence where opinions on death can be expressed in a judgment free zone, where various views, feelings, beliefs and attitudes can be drug out of the closet and examined in the full light of day.

A benefit of the Death Café is perhaps best explained by Death Café Founder Jon Underwood. According to Underwood, “When we acknowledge that we’re going to die, it falls back on ourselves to ask the question, ‘Well, in this limited time that I’ve got, what’s important for me to do.’”

The Cincinnati Death Café is facilitated by Cindy Maril and Pete Tunnat. Tunnat suggests that the term “facilitator” is a very relative term when describing the Death Café. He says that, “We are only there to get the conversation initiated – after that our role is very limited because the conversation is almost always robust.”

The next Death Café is on Monday, December 15^th at 7 PM and lasts for roughly an hour and a half.  If you’re interested in more information, please call the Arlington Administrative Center at (513) 521-7003.

Daniel Applegate became part of the Arlington Memorial Gardens organization in 2001 and has worked in the cemetery industry since 1981, including serving as Secretary/Treasurer and then as President of the Ohio state cemetery association.  He was appointed by Ohio Governor George Voinovich and served two terms on the Ohio Cemetery Dispute Resolution Commission, Ohio's cemetery oversight agency. He is a graduate of The Ohio State University holding a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Political Science.